digital delay

I know this is like WAY late, but I'm still coming to grips with the fact that I didn't even SEE the episode until late last night, which I'm pretty sure is first for me since at least the second season started some odd years ago. Also, I'm still catching up on stuff at the office - aka blogs that I haven't checked since midday Wednesday - so I must admit I'm quite thrilled that there were only seven outfits in this episode. Doing fifteen last time was a bitch even without the distractions. So anyway, last nigh...err...Wednesday the designers, in teams of two, were tasked with creating an outfit for a fashion icon, who turned out to be, in the worst kept secret in gaydom, Sarah Jessica Parker. I'll refrain from pointing out the fact that it's not so much SJP that does the work but her stylists, and that it's obviously a ploy to get press for her critically maligned and generally unfortunate clothing line Bitten (I'd sooner eviscerate myself with a spoon than buy a pair of jeans for $20), and that, even though the quality was generally well-above average across the board, $15 doesn't go very far without a little sweatshop outsourcing, and just get on with my unsolicited opinions of the entries.


Victorya/Kevin was/were the winner, the prize being the arguably dubious honor of being sold as part of the Bitten Fall/Winter collection, and all I can say is "UGH". Seriously judges, do me a favor and get the fuck out of her annoying-spelled vagina. Sure, it's cute, and yes, it's simple while at the same time possessing some degree of visual interest, but yet again I really don't like it. The color choices are boring, the giant bow, well, pisses me off, and as much as it kills me to disagree with Tim, the vest, racer-back or not, I fucking hate. It's really far too precious and I hate the plaid and I think it looks downright stupid compared to the rest of the generally inoffensive outfit. And when I imagine what it would look like closed I start to feel a little pukey. Victorya: I'm sick of you having an undeserved place in the top 3 (or 2) almost as much as I am of the entirely unnecessary "y" in your name. Fuck off.


Marion was out, and I have absolutely no disagreements with that decision. There's not much more to be said outside of Michael's "Pocohantas" comment and Heidi's tagging it as something dirty that came out of the basement (twice!), so I'll just point out that he was a fucking idiot for using knit here, disregarding the whole notion of stretching and ending up with a hideously disproportioned mess. And that clumpy fringe? Seriously? In his defense, and in SJP's I guess, it did look rather interesting and, dare I say it, pretty in the sketch, but the execution is so off it's painful. Also in his defense, his partner is growing more and more adorable every episode and this knit abortion fortunately didn't get him auf'd. NOT in his defense, he's weirdly small and meek and grossly young looking for his age and I kind of hate his weird Oliver! style and, I don't know if it's the picture or what, but his model is FUCKING TERRYING.


The Christian/Carmen team rounded out the bottom 2, and again, no real objection. Getting past the fact that I'm pretty sure the jacket and the dress don't even go together in the first place, the whole thing is just way to severe, 1980s Palmer girl for it's own good. It's too short, too tight, the color's all wrong, and to add insult to injury, the accessorizing - look at those shoes! - just dates the whole ensemble something terrible. I do however think that I could appreciate the jacket as something entirely separate from this ensemble, as it is well-made (as is the dress, for that matter) and just really cool looking. I'm really glad though that Marion sent that walking turd down the runway so that Christian didn't get auf'd, because despite the fact that it seemingly goes against everything I believe in, I really like the kid. Guess I just don't have enough snotty precocious fags in my life. Or at least not ones with really silly hair.


Elisa/Sweet P rounded out the top 2, and I feel bad for not getting to this sooner as I think this should've taken the win. I was nervous, as one should be, when Elisa started going on about capes and polymorphism and showed off weird sketches and spit on shit, so I was completely floored when I saw this come down the runway. It's like it does everything right what Victorya's did oh so terribly wrong, at least in my opinion. The cape creates a similar relaxed silhouette, fortunately sans that stupid vest and annoying bow, and when removed it reveals an entirely new outfit that's both gorgeous and, apparently, polymorphic (I'll take your word for it Elisa).

It admittedly looks a little drab here, but seeing it in motion reveals how wonderfully complex (yet simple) and creative the cut is, especially with the sleeves. Also, is it just me, or are Elisa's outfits - that is, the one she herself wears - kind of cute? Just a thought. Also, Sweet P looks seriously repulsive in that picture.


Ricky/Jack's dress was a contender for my top 2, which was especially nice considering how reamed out he was last time for a perfectly acceptable baby doll dress. LOVE the color, the cut is very chic, and the ruffling is cute without being overly-precious. However, while I am a big fan of the braided belt, it's a stretch to call it a second piece. Also, those boots=FIERCE.


Kit/Chris was my other contender for the top 2. I absolutely adore the sweater, which unfortunately ended up being washed out by the runway set, and while I generally adhere to a strict "leggings suck" policy, here they actually end up working quite well. And I don't even hate the beret! Well, not too much - I can only bend so far.


This week's "meh" entry belonged to Rami/Jillian. Don't hate it, don't love it. Just meh. My only major point of contention is that Rami picked the same suck-ass model even though she, ummm, sucks ass. Yeah.

That's all folks. Sorry if it seemed a bit half-ass - I'm a bit pressed for time here, and my brain's still hurting from four days of essentially nonstop partying. Well that, and Super Mario Galaxy, which, if I may say so myself, fucking ROCKS.