two years in the making

God, it seems so long since I've done this, but since I've got a dedicated blog now and not just a half-assed one on myspace, it's time to step up and recap some mother fucking Project Runway. Anyway, to avoid going on for too long here I'm going to pretty much avoid talking about anything before the runway show (plus there are many people who do it infinitely better), saving my comments on the contestants for the discussion of their garments. I will say though that I'm so incredibly psyched it's back, that there's a hole in my life that has once again been filled, and that I'm having a hard time grasping the fact that it's been OVER A YEAR since the last time I saw a new episode (the third season finale aired on 10/18/06). So to Tim, Heidi, Michael, and Nina, I say, welcome back - I missed the shit out of you fuckers. Now, onto the show.


As mentioned briefly last night, Rami, he who I desperately want to make sweet Israeli love to me, won the first challenge, which was to create a garment which expressed who the designer was, with this classical Grecian gown. Given, this isn't the most complex or innovative of dresses, and as Michael said, the flower is a bit MOB, but everything about it - the fit, the draping, the color - is near perfect and was easily the best thing on the runway last night. Plus, in case you forgot already, he is, IMHO, fucking hot as shit:

I mean, he's no Daniel V (is anyone?), but right? I've had some serious disagreements on the this very subject, so I'm looking for some feedback so I can be sure I haven't lost my touch. And as mentioned previously, love the dress, fucking DESPISE the shoes - who put those monstrosities on the bluefly.com (thank you PR for getting a classier sponsor than Macy's!) accessories wall? The heels make me want to barf. And speaking of things that make me want to barf...


If there's anything that the judges hate, especially this early in the game, it's boring clothes. And combine said boredom with poor construction and you not only get the piece of shit that Simone sent down the runway last night, you also get the first aufing of the season, and I can't say I disagree. Sure, Elisa's "creation", imbued with the winds and ocean (Austin?) and, umm, grass stains, was nothing short of tragic, and while no person in their right mind would ever want to not be able to walk while simultaneously appearing to shit out a multicolored tumor, it's at least creative, and I'm excited to see what kind of hot messes she sends out before her inevitable aufing. Simone, on the other hand, I couldn't care less about, and while the color combination on the dress is, I guess, pretty (said with the most disdainful Kors inflection possible), the jacket is so mismatched it's almost painful to look at and, as previously noted, the construction is way off. Au revoir Simone! (I'm so indie it hurts)

The other potential aufing of the night was Ricky, who made a baby doll dress that was apparently so terrible Bravo couldn't bring themselves to post it on their website. However, I'm going to go against the grain here and say that I didn't find it as incredibly offensive as the judges did. Sure, it's a baby doll dress, and there certainly wasn't anything special about it, save for some interesting fabric (though when Mood's footing the bill, that doesn't mean a whole lot), but it was well-made, fit perfectly, and, well, it just looked nice, and it didn't seem like bottom 3 material to me. Fortunately this "niceness" kept him in, so we can look forward to more wacky hats that annoy the fuck out of me.


Switching gears a bit, the remainder of the top three was a mixed bag for me. I at first wasn't immediately feeling Christian's garment - it just seemed to be unfinished and a bit slapdash. However, as Heidi noted, it definitely grows on you, and I can now easily see how this landed at the top. The skirt I'm not too crazy about, but I'm loving the jacket - the volume is very modern, while the cut and the detailing just gives it the perfect amount of preciousness. Plus the print recalls Alexander McQueen's (whom Christian worked with) tartans, and who doesn't love that? Also should be noted that I'm ready to retract my previous declaration of dislike for Christian - sure, he's pretentious, snobby, and certainly arrogant, but shit, the kid's got talent, and, most importantly, he doesn't take himself too seriously.


Rounding out the top 3 is Victorya, and I have to say, I really don't like this dress. The basic concept is okay, and I don't have any real problems with the fit or the fabric, but I really have a problem with the straps, both the seemingly too large ones on the shoulders and the totally unnecessary ones on the upper arms. Also, not too crazy about the flower. But the judges apparently loved it, as did my viewing companions, so I guess I'm missing something here. Apparently I like when things look nice - so sue me. Also, Victorya, we get it, you're Asian, but you're in America, so spell your fucking name like a normal human being. And since I didn't particularly care for this dress, what do I think should've been in its place?


Oh Chris, you may have had a fuck of a time hauling your fat ass to the fabric, but it sure as hell doesn't show. Given the sheer amount of textile choices this costume designer was given, I was expecting something more along the lines of what Elisa shat out, 'cept maybe bigger and draggier, so imagine my surprise when presented with this gorgeous, rather tasteful gown. I'm absolutely loving the color on the skirt, especially when combined with the green-ish accents, and the pattern he used for the bodice is beautiful. And the cut? Absolute perfection. The back was a thing of beauty as well:

Fan-fucking-tastic. I wasn't expecting much from Chris based on the previews, seemingly more like a bigger, gayer version of Jay, if Jay designed primarily for drag queens, but much like Christian, I think I'm going to have change my outlook for this contestant. I definitely look forward to seeing more of his work, especially if he continues to throttle the costumey elements while still maintaining a certain degree of surprise and excitement. Good show.


Another favorite of mine - fabulous print, and I absolutely adore that shade of blue. Also, that glorious image of Jack in his underwear is still burned, in the most delightful way, on my retinas. Kind of a shame then that (SPOILER INVISOTEXTED) he's apparently going to be sent home soon after developing an HIV-related staph infection.


Cute, well-made, but nothing TOO special. Plus the designer, Jillian, is obviously raging bitch. Also, she likes culottes. And note that she doesn't remind me as much of Dr. Cuddy as she did in still photos, which pisses me off. Oh well, guess that's what Tuesdays are for.


Another cute one - little bit more interesting than the above, but I fucking hate the fabric she used for the straps. Not only does it not match at all, I'm pretty sure it's the same fabric that got Austin Scarlett aufed and that Santino used when he was trying to act like his being inspired by graffiti was all edgy and modern and shit. Fuck that. Also, Sweet P? You're 49. Lose the nickname.


Stephen, please stop channeling Daniel Franco. You're far too precious for that. And you're unfortunately not as good a tailor.


Hey Carmen - I mean, hey Carmen A., being a model doesn't prevent you from designing ugly clothes. Case in point: those pants. I guess the top is okay though. Also, being a pretentious bitch doesn't prevent you from having stupid hair. Case in point: umm, your hair?


Like the print, hate the the painfully angular, asymmetrical top, which does nothing for the chest. Also, I don't care how much it relates to Mark Twain/Samuel Clemens - lose the nickname, Kit. One is enough, and I guarantee you, no one is going to be calling you Pistol. Why? Because it's stupid.


Hmm, don't really know what to make of this one. The bodice is kind of cute, but the straps really bother me. And while I like the cut and detailing on the skirt, I'm not a real big fan of the fabric. Let's just give it a "meh".


What's that Kevin, you're straight? Yeah, it shows. Also, a forewarning - if you maintain this whole hyper-masculine thing there's a good chance you will a. inexplicably not get aufed even though you make ugly clothes and weird, borderline misogynistic comments during judging; b. crack your head open on the pavement while drunkenly attempting to impress a pretty girl; c. make a cameo during the next season wearing an outfit which makes reference to the challenge which got you eliminated; or d. all of the above.

Jesus fuck that took a long time. And a reminder: if you would like to read a real recap, you know, something funny and interesting that doesn't amount to some idiot fagging out over pretty dresses, be sure to check out fourfour - it should be up by Monday. Auf wiedersehen bitches!