here be spoilers

The fall TV season is upon us, and while some favorites have yet to return, most notably LOST and Project Runway, I've at least seen enough to necessitate a few comments. Yes, it might have made more sense to do this on tomorrow or even Monday, when I've seen everything on offer - House and SVU still languish on the TiVo after a busy Tuesday (aka Friday Night Lights on DVD) and a particularly drunken Wednesday, and The Office and CSI: Las Vegas premiere tonight (which I will probably miss cause, shit, THIRSTY THURSDAY!!!) - but I'm kind of bored, and feeling a bit guilty after neglecting my duties on yesterday. So anyway, here we go!

1. Heroes
After a rather disappointing finale with a curious ending, I was looking forward to this - well, that, and because Heroes fucking rocks. Admittedly, it wasn't the greatest episode, as it seemed rather convoluted even with the limited commercial interruption (brought to you by Dodge!), but I guess it was necessary to touch on almost all of the heroes (and some new ones), unfortunately excluding Niki/Jessica and, save for the final scene (and that part when Nathan saw the reflection in the mirror which reminded me of the end of Candyman - more on that later), the delicious (mock me if you will) Peter Petrelli. All well and good, but I really could have done without seeing Matt Parkman, who still physically repulses me and who, much like her teacher obviously suspects, seems to be perpetually on the verge of molesting Molly Walker now that Mohinder is no longer around to protect her from his fat wandering hands. Vomit. I guess his disgustingly obese body protected him from those four bullets to the torso. Not much more to say - EW.com and a whole slew of other sites have the recap thing down pat - except that I was right about Lyle Bennet, and at the risk of incurring anymore controversy, I'll leave it at that.

2. America's Next Top Model
Cycle nine! How is this show still on? Also, more importantly, how is still so fucking incredible? Aside from a few key moments in the first episode - Tyra in weird showgirl drag, the elimination of Marvita after she was all but forced to reveal her traumatic rape-filled past, the weirdly overt pimping of Royal Caribbean (particularly the kind of trashy looking Lyric Theater), and, of course, the introduction of the lovely hunchbacked Asperger's sufferer Heather - it was really the second episode where things really got going. And by "got going" I of course mean "kicked off Mila," who, despite the assurances of the judges (mainly Tyra), was not beautiful, not even pretty, and who had this weird bloated Eastern European thing about her, like some horrible parody of a Russian mafia whore. Seriously, am I the only one who found her repulsive? And to add insult to injury they chose her to be the (second) chemo victim during the photo shoot who, instead of sporting a tastefully shaved has chosen to rock the schizophrenic/crazed burn victim look by holding on to whatever mangled shocks of hair she has left. I like to think it was intentional. Also, the actual burn victim - that is, the model whose name I've forgotten but was chosen to portray a burn victim - reminded me, what with the whole mirror setup, of when a horribly burned Virginia Madsen appeared in the mirror at the end of Candyman and gutted the shit out of her husband. Told you I'd come to back that. Also, the whole non-smoking thing? I'd fucking kill some bitches if they pulled that shit on me, but as a viewer I'm greatly looking forward to it.

3. The Office/CSI: Las Vegas
I obviously haven't seen either of these, as they don't premiere until tonight, and I probably won't until this weekend, as it is Thursday after all, but I thought I'd take a brief moment to touch on a little dilemma. As everyone should know, both shows come on at 9PM on Thursday nights, and as my TiVo is an older one with no dual tuner, that's a rather painful choice to make. On one hand, there's an hour-long show that I much prefer watching on a television with a cliffhanger plot I'm anxious to see resolved, and on the other, a usually half-hour-long that I'm kind of okay with watching on the computer, especially cause I'm often stoned, but whose finale literally left me in tears. It's kind of killing me inside. Plus I hear The Reaper on the CW is pretty amazing - of course, it comes on at the same time. Death.

4. Friday Night Lights
This one doesn't even come on until next Friday, and I've only seen like 6 of the episodes on DVD, but it's quickly becoming one of my favorites and I fully anticipate having the first season watched and digested by the time it premieres on the 6th. Thought I'd mention it here because you really should be watching it. Go Panthers!

5. Journeyman
I've not seen nor do I plan on watching this one, just wanted to point out how awesome it is to see Kevin McKidd on American television, even if the show blows ass. And for those so uninformed, McKidd played Lucius Vorenus on Rome and Pvt. Cooper in Neil Marshall's (The Descent) underappreciated Dog Soldiers. And is fucking hot.