untraditional

I almost always fall in the wintertime, a problem I attribute to usually having no traction on my shoes after a year's worth of walking to and from work everyday. However, I stepped it up a notch this season by making my first glorious spill on the sidewalk during the first snow of the season, landing on my left side and hitting my head on a short fence. Real classy, not only because I had a bag of groceries that also took the fall with me, but also there were at least three people watching, people who I'm sure owned the abnormally threatening airdale that was barking at me and, in my head, providing the distraction that led to my accident. So now my hip is so swollen and painful that I had to abort a trip to VA to pick up some, uh, medicine for my misfortune. In conclusion, fuck the snow, fuck my shoes, fuck that dog, and, well, fuck my life. I need a xanax. Good night.